So the other day there was this contest on goodreads in which you had to write the weirdest thing, so I thought: Why not write about being weird since I'm so good at it (at being weird :D) So here it is, a monologue about weirdness
You know when people say weird, what exactly does that mean. Yeah, sure, everyone can give you a definition for weird. Hell, even Paris Hilton can give you that definition. And I’ll recite it for you in a dialogue kind of way.
You: Hey you!
Random person: Who me?
You: No dude, I’m talking to the wombat standing next to you, yes you!
Random person: Dude, you’re so weird.
You: Is that so?!? (you raise your eyebrows in a daring way) Give me a definition.
Random person: Of what?
You: Of weird idiot. What’s weird?
Random person: (Gives you a ‘seriously?’ look ) Weird is someone or something who is not normal.
You: Give me a definition of normal.
Random person: :s :o :I
And there you have it, no one knows what the definition of normal is, so by default, everybody in this sick and judgmental world is weird. Yeah eve you, person who is reading this and is thinking ‘pshh, I’m not weird’. Yeah, you are! You are freakn’ weird and you know it.
Everyone’s weird in a way. Because normal doesn’t exist. People feed themselves this concept that they’re normal. But the truth is that we’re not weird. We’re special. Okay now, if your psychiatrist tells you you’re special then it’s a bad thing, stay away from the white jackets and blue pills. Those people do not want to help you, no matter what they say. Anyway, I mean special in a good way. And sure when I say special, I do mean weird. It’s just so that people who tend to get offended easily cope with the fact that they’re not normal.
Anyway, every single person in this world has that one thing (or many things) that make him/her weird. Let’s call this the weird factor. Laughing randomly when you have a good memory: Not that weird. Record hyper videos and upload then to YouTube: Yeah, it’s pretty weird. Dressing your pets: now that’s just downright ridiculous. No offense to those who dress their pets, but they are, after all, pets. But we are all weird no matter what.
The cruel reality of our existence is that normal does not exist. Why? Because we’re all different and can never agree on anything. I mean, isn’t that what has been causing all wars? Because people can’t agree because we’re all different, in conclusion, we can’t be normal. As an example, I’ll narrate this as specific as I can.
You are walking through the hallways of the torture chamber everyone calls high school. People are behaving as animals as usual, and then you see the usual kid in the trash can and think, “Poor kid, when will he ever learn he need karate classes.” Then you enter your classroom and sit on your usual place where Barbie and her three wannabes are talking, playing with their hair, thinking if Brian will ask them to homecoming, same old shit. You tell them to move away and sit down. They look down at your outfit, let’s pretend that day you accidentally wore different shoes on each foot and colorful socks while wearing a bright yellow hoodie. That being said, let’s continue with the story. Barbie looks at you, her eyes practically scan every single part of your outfit. Barbie rolls her eyes, gives you a modest smile and turns to her wannabes saying ‘What a weirdo!’ And they all laugh as if that was the joke of the year. And somehow, she thinks you’re deaf, cause she’s said it loud enough for you to hear and obviously they think you didn’t. So you turn around and look at them the same way they look at you. And then you see Barbie’s blond hair and think ‘She’s a weirdo too. I bet people in Ethiopia would consider her weird because people there have no blond hair. You look at the sunglasses wannabe #1 is wearing and you think that people in Forks (yes, I’m using a Twilight reference, I am actually ashamed of myself) would consider her weird cause there is no sun there. And you see wannabe #2, wearing a mini skirt. And you think, ‘poor freak, they would probably cut her in half in some part of Saudi Arabia, because a girl wearing a mini skirt would be considered weird there.
And you can always go on and on finding a ‘but’ in the way everyone looks or dresses and find reasons why those people aren’t normal. But why would you want to be normal? When you’re a kid don’t you love it when your mommy tell you you’re special (again, not in psychiatrist way, remember kids, say no to the blue pills). You know you do. And some of us really want to be unique in every possible way, and get called weird because of it. And you know what? Hell yeah I’m weird. Say it to the world! Hello, my name is (fill in the blank) and I’m a weirdo because (fill in with unusual life situation). When you’re walking down the streets, just being hyper and being you, and people say ‘Gosh you’re weird.’ Just smile, flip them off and say, ‘Yeah, I get that a lot.’ And accept the fact that you’re never going to be normal, ever. And I’m gonna go a little cheesy on this, but love yourself the way you are. Because normal doesn’t exist, and the sooner you accept that, the better. And remember if a psychologist or any other type of doctor says you’re weird, say no to the blue pills.